Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Oh Deer!

Last week my coworker ordered a deer mask. He took in delivery today. Hilariousness ensues.

"JP Morgan here. Where's my Bambi dvd and get me a latte NOW"

Scrabulous SHUT DOWN!!!

It was bound to happen. I had almost a 100 games logged in. I can't believe it.

What you see now when u click scrabulous
New official crappy version - Takes up a ton of memory

Total Bs. RIP Scrabulous

Monday, July 28, 2008

Hand pulled noodles. Step by step instructions by Simon Shitty Chef

Here is a useless non informative way of making your own pulled noodles. Hope this doesn't help at all. Enjoy!

You grab a clump of chinese dough and you start to fold air into it.

You then proceed to slap the crap out of it on a slab of marble.

You do it again and again until you feel it has the right consistency.

Now you stretch it thin and long.

Add a touch of flour so it doesn't stick

Add some more flour for love and you throw it into boiling water. PRESTO!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sunday Seven Two Seven

July 27th 2008. What a crappy weather day but a great everything else day. On off thunderstorms put on quite a light show. I witnessed hail the size of skittles. The Mets routed the Cards. I traveled out east with my mom and dad to visit my sister and brother in law. Dim sum take out from East Buffet was consumed. Ended up in Flushing in a basement cafeteria style food stall station. Got pulled noodles (Action photos below) and Chinese Burger. It was a good day.

I had a fun time chatting it up with the chinese burger lady. My mandarin is non existant. I know maybe 5 lines. None which have to do with food. She asked if we wanted sugar on our Chinese burger. My cousin and I said no. Why sugar? We don't know.

Chinese Burgers?!?!? They were good. Just trust me on that one.

Pic of my sister and bro in law's pool out in Long Island. You can see my parents admiring the blueness.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

jamba juice, cookies and gifts from Russia

What a day! Tuesday at dinner my parents gave me some goodies from Russia. They just came back from a river cruise. They gave me a hat with a bunch of pins on it. It was a bit tacky but after taking off all the pins the hat looks quite fashionable. I only took a pic of the label inside.

Fancy hat

The other gift they gave me is an egg thingy. It can hold all sorts of paraphernalia.

Egg thingy
It opens!

Cakewardrobe totally hooked it up with some great cookies today. They were for my coworkers and fooddotout.

It was wrapped in a prism box with a pink ribbon. Masculine to the max...

I'm taking full advantage of buy one get one free jamba juice. This is my second acai shake I've had this week. It's so good and so very natural. My energy level has been kicked up a notch.
Please, if you haven't done so, click here to get your coupon!

Your body is a temple, littering is strictly prohibited!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Chuck Norris in regard to food #2

"Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear."

click here for more on FB

Deer Mask

Can you say venison? My coworker just placed an order for a deer mask. I love working here. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE I work with including myself keep the work mood nice and light.

He told me he plans on wearing a suit and rocking out the mask soon when he takes delivery.

Click me for the direct link!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Danny Ng's Place

Ate with my family tonight at Danny Ng's Place. The place was packed and that's a very good thing. A Chinese filled restaurant on a Tuesday is an excellent sign. I first ate at his place when he was on Pell Street. I had no idea he moved until my parents informed me. I saw a plaque that said something in Chinese and had July 1st 2008 on it. That could have been an indication of the opening date. The walls are covered with pictures of former police commissioners and lieutenants. It was interesting because the owner, Danny Ng, was roaming around the street and the restaurant. I only knew this because a mounted police officer yelled out "Hey Danny, how you doin".

New Yorks Finest Hard at Work

The Card
One of the prefix Chinese menus for the table. This one ran about $138 for the table.

This was some type of pastrami over a bed of veggies. Very good.

Tsing Tao - Emperor of beers.

Sorry for the lack of pictures. We were having a little too much fun at dinner. I'll also try to make an effort to take better pictures instead of using my iPhone camera. We need a bit of an upgrade. Noisy pictures rule!

The Wackness (the movie) and Anticipating My Weekend

I watched two movies yesterday while I was cleaning up my place. The Wackness and Batman Begins (not the new one called The Dark Knight). The Wackness is a very good movie but had an even better soundtrack! It was most of the music I grew up to.

This list below and the picture above is pulled from theplaylist.blogspot. Check out the blog. Interesting stuff.

Nas - "The World Is Yours"
Raewkon "Heaven and Hell"
Notorious B.I.G. feat. Method Man "The What"
DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince "Summertime"
Donovan - "Season of The Witch"
Biz Markie - "Just A Friend"
Total feat. Notorious B.I.G. "Can’t Ya See"
A Tribe Called Quest - "Can I Kick It"
Faith Evans - "You Used To Love Me"
R Kelly - "Bump N' Grind"
The Pioneers - "Long Shot Kick de Buckettfont"
Vomit Launch "Exit Lines"
Craig Mack - "Flava In Your Ear"
The Wu Tang Clan - "Tearz"
Mott The Hoople - "All The Young Dudes"*

Check out the movie!

This Saturday I'm heading to Charles Southern Kitchen and watching "The Dark Knight". Ideally in the Imax theater. There's small possibility of heading out to the Jersey Shore as well. Updates to follow.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Matsuri, Prank calls, tex mex, Duane Reade

Last night I met up with an old friend at Matsuri. Reservations were at 9:15 but I was told 8:30. I showed up at 8:15 to find that out so I stuck it out at the bar. After sampling a Sapporo and a Kirin-Ichibon I decided to stick with Kirin for the evening. During my one hour wait I texted away and ordered Agedashi Tofu. Fried tofu in the special sauce is so good. You really can't mess it up. Dinner was excellent. More on that after I go there a second time. It's worthy of a 2nd trip.

After dinner we headed next door to Hiro which was bumpin! There was a very interesting vibe. A lot more couples hooking up like they needed to get a room. More than a usual night. There was one point where a couple sprawled out on our couch area where we had out table set up. Not classy. Outside of that they had people swinging from the ceilings for entertainment. This is where the night gets a little interesting.

I get home and receive a blocked phone call. Only my parents call me from a blocked number. Not this case at 4am. The girl was talking dirty and wanted me to climax with her. It was pretty clear I was on speaker phone and I heard people laughing in the background. During this conversation my call waiting chimed in. It was my good friend Frank. Red flags are going up all over the place now. They were heading out to the hamptons and asked if I cared to join after they have past exit 22 on the LIE already. Putting two and two together I figured they were pranking me but he refused to admit so. I got very annoyed and at the end we got annoyed at each other after throwing the accusations back and forth. All in all it was a fun Saturday night.

I wake up close to 12 finally. I have had trouble sleeping the past few weeks past 7/8am. It felt good. I ordered Tex-Mex. Came home to watch the mets win. Went out to duane reade and got $50 worth of goodies. Ordered more Tex-Mex. Ate and went back out to grab some pinkberry. What a productive day!!!pinkberry with mango pineapple and mo chi!

Taco Tortilla King
285 3rd Ave, New York 10010
Btwn 21st & 22nd St
Phone: 212-679-8882

I highly recommend this place if you're in the neighborhood. They are quick with their orders.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Panna Cotta, Chinatown and Rock Band

After a late day of work cakewardrobe came by to drop off food for me and the roomies! Lucky us because we had some amazing velvety, silky, smooth, sweet strawberry panna cotta. Words do not even begin to describe it. Here's a crap picture of it via my iPhone.
Crazy Delicious Panna Cotta!

cakewardrobes blog about the recipe and awesome pics

I can call the panna cotta my intermezzo because I had a subway sandwich before this and off to Chinatown we go! Few friends were heading back from the yankee game and wanted to eat. We were heading into Noodletown but decided to go to yummy noodle instead.
I took a pic of noodletown for kicks.

I ate some noodles with beef randomness of brisket and tripe.
Noodles with Beef tripe and brisket.

We called it a night and ended up home playing rock band. fooddotout wanted to sing and do bass at the same time. I tried singing and doing drums but that did not work out. You can see our make shift mic stand using throw pillows.Rocking out to rock band

Friday, July 18, 2008

Happy Hour Adventure!

Japas 38 Rocks! Gary - Thanks for inviting us out. Good times with good friends. I sang a few songs Livin On a Prayer, All the small things and Santaria. Big ups to fooddotout and cakewardrobe to singing.

$90 Grey Goose Bottles and $12 Pitchers!!!

$10 for THREE ROLLS!!!

Blue Moon is so good.

Anyone else hate the TV's in the cabs?

This shot is the summation of my evening. A bit of a Blur

I highly recommend japas 38.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

Jen: omg i just found a lego arm in my purse
you just can't fake finding a lego arm!

Update! The actual piece that's missing the arm.

Arthritic Finger...

We're all going to grow old with arthritic pointer fingers from mouse usage. Someone besides myself should do a study on this.

Chuck Norris in regards to food

"Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder"

I pull these from the chuck norris app on facebook.


Free food episode 1

Everyone goes out to eat drink and play. Maybe not at the same time but certainly at sometime in their lives. These "episodes" will consist of getting treated to breakfast, dinner, lunch, snacks, shots, etc etc etc. I hope you get the point. Today's installment is provided by Cake Wardrobe queen aka JM dba Jennie M. She runs a wonderfully fun blog about her baking / cooking adventures.

Yeah, I know there's nothing there cause I ate it!

The ravioli was stuffed with shrimp, spinach, basil, paprika, garlic and italian parsley. Lovely lumps of mussels were topped on top of it. It was a seafoodly delightful.

Shame on me...

A good friend of mine I use to work with named Mandon is having a big bash this Saturday afternoon. I'm ashamed for asking the following.

me: lolll
u guys are too much
u having keg(s)?

Mandon: uhhh...yeah

me: holy shit
4 is the magic number
hollaaa back, shittttt

simon, this aint amateur hour ok

i'm looking down in shame
shame on me

Mandon: haha

Aftermath of what happened last year

$ for lunch in my pocket! NL League sucks! I still haven't cooked shit!

I found $16 in my suit pant pocket this morning. Feels good to find money in your pocket. Reminds me of old friends you haven't heard from calling you up after years of not speaking.

I stayed up until 1am watching the all star game. It was a great game. I've never seen that many people thrown out at the plate in my life. Too bad the game ended so late! Of course I wake up to find my National League team losing.

Cooking doesn't seem to be in my schedule. My roommate cooked. Steamed egg with mushroom and probably some other stuff and stuffed it in a sandwich. Smelled very egg like and mushroom like. I ordered from a chinese take out joint called Jimmy's House. They have a great deal at 7pm where you can get a thing of rice with 4 sides. I had sweet and sour pork, string beans, tofu and egg tomatoes. So perfect, so good, so MUCH!

No pics - Sorry

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Working and searching

The shitty chef will be traveling extensively this year. I already booked a trip to Miami and plan on heading to LA and Hong Kong by years end. I'll keep everyone posted.

Fortune cookie "A distant relative will contact you soon"


Shore Club last November

Introductorical post: I can't cook

I can't cook and I can't write well. I have things to say but poor grammar. I can cook eggs but nothing fancy. Pasta with canned sauce or microwaving is my specialty. Having an extraordinary roommate that can cook and a cousin who can whip up an award winning bbq pit* has inspired me to start this blog. I DO not blog regularly. I am on Facebook and Myspace a lot. What I like to do is just explore the the wonderful city I live it.

I will attempt to learn how to cook and teach my palate.

*He never won an award but he's got one in my book!